i don’t understand. i don’t get why when i look in the mirror i see something totally different than what everyone else sees. i’m always told how pretty i am, that i have a great body, gorgeous curves.. i should go be a model blah blah blah.. but when i look in the mirror i pick apart every little thing that’s wrong with me.. why can’t i just have some self confidence and be comfortable? i just want to feel pretty - i wanna be that girl who everyone’s says “wow” when she walks by.
my shyness is starting to hold me baack so much - again another issue. I have all these fucking issues, i just want to be normal.
i can’t win.
I really hate when I’m stuck thinking.. I start thinking about all the bad decisions I made, how different my life could’ve been.. I wish there was a rewind button
sometimes I feel like I’d be happier alone, but when that time comes I feel so sad and.. well alone. I can’t say what I want anymore, I just dont know. I’ve never felt so lost and confused.. there are so many thoughts running through my head.. I’m a prisoner.. a prisoner in my own home, my job, and my mind.. I can’t escape. what if I never do? ..is this really how my life is supposed to play out?
I fucking hate my fucking life. omfg. idk what the fuck is going in anymore… this cannot be real. I need to get away, a vacation maybe.. that’d be really nice. ha if only. it’s amazing. it truely is amazing.
I really need some help, maybe I should take Brenda’s advice… hmmm… too bad I’m so lazy, but it may do me some good… idk there’s too much going on right now. too too much.
